I've now retired to Spain and bought a nice villa.
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
"Like sitting around the pool and drinking beer isn't a good thing?", I asked. (Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation lately.)
She is "only thinking of me," she said and suggested I go down to the Senior citizen community Centre and hang out with the fellas.
So, I did, and when I got home, I decided to play a prank on her that I learned about from the fellas at the Senior Centre.
So I sent her an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club. She replied, "Are you nuts? You're way too old now; you're not going to start jumping out of aeroplanes?"
I sensed she didn't believe me, so I told her I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her. Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled,
"Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses? This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!" "Oh man, am I in trouble,"
I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!" The line went dead.